My Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Experience: From A Spouse’s Point of View Part 4

4/4 Emails that my husband sent to me while I was in the hospital for a ruptured brain aneurysm.

Geez well now it’s Wednesday 12/9 and I have a rare moment to breathe and I think it would be good to write more as the days are getting blurred and my memory is failing me. I think the updates are going to be a lot smaller since I’m not with you anyways.

So after I came home Sunday night it was weird with you not being there. Very weird. The house was freezing cold and felt lifeless. I took Monday to Wednesday off of work to adjust to everything, get life back in order, and take care of a lot of the things.

It was scary thinking that I was essentially going to be a single parent for a while and having to worry about you all the time too. Luckily those first few days the kids were wonderful. They slept ok, ate ok, and did everything right. I was thinking a lot about what I needed to take care of at home to prepare for your return. Lot of cleaning, organizing, and buying things to support how I predicted things would be. I tried to rest more since the previous few days were draining but it was so hard because I was so on edge, still am really. Your progress these three days were pretty good too from what I remember.

On Wednesday I informed work that I would be coming back on Thursday because I felt like I finished what I could at home and didn’t want to sit too bored just worrying about you. That night your parents came over and brought Texas Roadhouse. We video called you that night too and I actually saw some emotion from your mom. I get the impression that your mom is either in denial about what is going on or is just lying to herself because she was thinking that since you could talk you were fine. I appreciated the optimistic view but I had to explain to her the reality that everything wasn’t all roses. They stayed for about two hours and your brother spent most of the time playing with the kids which was probably the biggest help.

Thursday I think was when they did the angiogram and noticed signs of vasospasms. Hearing that was horrible because it seemed like things were going so well. I was so scared things would go wrong for some reason. It felt like Day one all over again to be honest. This was also the day that I went back to work and also the day the kids started not being so cooperative. Pretty crappy day.

At some point during the week I worked with Jose from your work on getting STD payment stuff set up. I’m still in the process of that by the way.

Friday I think Alex ordered us Chinese food that would last for a week which was nice. Over the last few days a lot of people sent gift cards for food delivery which was very nice too.

Saturday I was scared about because it was the whole day with just the kids and I think it was the day before that the county said it was going to start the covid lockdown early so I decided to take the kids to the playground since it was going to be a while for them to go back. We went to the park where the farmers market is and the kids had fun. They made friends with two kids way older than them lol. I got a bunch of stuff ready and me and the kids had a picnic in the grass after they played. Oliver didn’t nap that day and neither did I. Sarah came that night to drop off some food and to just talk. It was nice to talk.

Sunday was pretty emotional for me so I’ll probably stop here and continue later on.

I love you Monica. I hope you come home to your family soon.